Living in the outskirts of Chicago means I never turn down the opportunity to take a drive down Lake Shore Drive. If you know anything about Chicago, Lake Shore Drive is the gateway to the heavens, it is a long, beautiful drive. I enjoy taking the scenic route by the lake, driving semi-fast feeling every curve along the way, while I have my windows slightly down, with the air blowing (because I am that weirdo who needs the mixture of temperatures) while zoning out to my variegated genre of music. On this particular day, it was early May, so the weather was beyond beautiful in Chicago and I was headed to brunch at Etta, in the River North area. I ordered an entire pizza for myself,
-yes myself, paired with a Margarita on the rocks, no salt, all sugar of course.
I was having brunch with a kindred soul, who made the statement to me “This is the last dance.” As I indulged in every slice of my pizza, with none left to spare and sipped on my margarita, I had the lingering thought of “well what the fuck does that mean?” Our conversation carried on for a couple hours. A statement that was meant to be comical at the moment, stuck with me for a few days. Really a few weeks…
The Virgo in me never misses a moment to dive deeper, and I was really infatuated by his statement. If you know a thing or two about sports (because I sure as hell don’t), then you know the iconic basketball player Michael Jordan titled his self-documentary “The Last Dance” outlining the end of an era, the end of his professional playing days. While acknowledging that this silly mf was talking about something totally different (our little inside joke) during our conversation, the phrase got me thinking. I was sort of coincidently having my very own last dance at that time in my life. I was moving seemingly fast towards becoming a travel nurse, a lifelong dream of mine since the moment I knew I wanted to become a nurse. Travel nursing requires me to pick up my entire life and head to a new city for at least 13 weeks in most cases. That was a spine-chilling thought for me because it was going to push me to let go of many things that I was trying to hang on to for dear life or if I'm being honest, ignore. But that’s when it hit me, this isn’t the last dance. It’s really my first dance, the best dance to have. To double back on MJ, when his professional playing career ended, he became part owner of the Wizards. Kobe Bryant for another example, after retirement won an Oscar for Best Short Film, wrote books, was an entrepreneur and mentor. Life after the last dance, is only a better first dance. My fear of letting go was only pushing me away from my greater purpose. Although, letting go allows us to reach our peak and ultimately live out our wildest dreams. My fear has always been the unknown, the what ifs, but honestly, those are some of the best aspects of life. When we close a chapter, a new one always begins.
Currently I am a few weeks into transitioning as a new travel nurse in Saint Louis, Missouri temporarily (surprise, Hehe. I promise I will give a proper announcement by the time you are reading this). I am realizing how necessary this dance was and is for me, beyond my career. It’s amazing to see the way God works. Many of my relationships have grown stronger, initiated much-needed conversations and growth that may not have taken place had I not taken the leap of faith. Sometimes I think my fear is letting go of people or "the now" and just getting out of my comfort zone, but maybe it is not necessarily letting go but more so expanding certain areas of my life, while starting over with the people divinely placed in my life. While moving on God’s time and not mine. From the day before I left, to the day I touched down in STL, God gave me very crisp confirmations that everything is going to be alright. Not only in my relationships, but in my personal growth. I won't share it all, solely because it's a personal journey and I love those moments too much to share them with the world. But, it was all needed to become the best version of myself. Although, what I will share is this, a couple weeks into living in STL, I took a trip to Birmingham, Alabama to visit my sister. We took an evening hike and as she was showing me the city we were talking ironically about this exact thing that I'm writing about. As we were headed back I saw a red bird, a cardinal. In that moment, I didn't say anything but I secretly love seeing cardinals as they are very symbolic. I don't see them often, so when I do they tend to catch my eye. From what I've read they symbolize a few different things: Cardinal in Latin means to pivot, representing a pivotal point in a person's life. While, also symbolizing love and passion, and strong ties to loved ones who have passed on. The next day, we had an outing at the Birmingham Zoo, yes the Zoo. We both love elephants, so that was really the main source of attraction. But, I got a sweet surprise. As we were looking at the sea lions and headed out a swarm of Cardinals flew above us. I kid you not, it was not just 1, but maybe like 3 or 4. I shouted to Grace, "omg I keep seeing Cardinals!". She replies, "Yup, that's your sign. Everything is happening as it should. Not to mention, STL is the home of the Cardinals" (baseball, if you're like me and got lost there). So, this is your sign, my words of encouragement for you too, to let go, enjoy the last dance, but get ready for the first dance of a new era. This is your time, and everything is divinely working out for you and me.
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